Where are you right now?  

And let me be clear, I don’t mean physically- so, where are you right now? Granted, the answer to this question may not seem so clear-cut; straightforward isn’t something that comes naturally when you are left talking about all the things you want to do but never did.  

We, as a society, often feel the need to explain ourselves when it comes to the things we haven’t done. Always basing our progress on the approval of others, or by the progress of someone else.  

The reason I bring this up is because we base our own timeline on societal pressures and expectations; we start to feel as if we are going out of order or behind because we don’t have what other people who align with our identity have. Now- this is not a justification for laziness, there are things you must do, but take your own road and do it in your own time. 

Recognize that we are not equipped with the same tools as someone else; some people don’t even know about certain tools until years later- including ourselves.  

 I have always had a rule of thumb when it comes to the things I do in life- If I think about it longer than a day, it must get done. Otherwise, you’re stuck in limbo, thinking about it getting done but always feeling less than when met with incomplete reality.  

I have always had a dreamer’s mind; the possibilities of “what ifs” and “maybes” all because I either didn’t know where to start or because I thought it impossible for myself. I would always justify my limbo and would never try to find a way out of it; I felt comfortable in knowing that I started but then shame when I never saw something through. My biggest argument was that “I didn’t have time”.  

Food for thought: Just because something )remained unfinished the first time, or the second, or the third, does not mean it is meant to stay that way. Too often do we cater to time, always giving it more than we give ourselves. “I don’t have enough time in a day”, but what happens when you stop using time as a guideline for completion?  

What happens when instead of walking away from our unfinished work and never looking back, we reflect on why we never finished it in the first place. Where did we lose the love for our task? At what point did it start to feel like a chore? How do I get that love back? We start by changing our perspective. Standing still is not always a bad thing- because sometimes maybe the truth is that we weren’t going at the right speed to begin with. Some tasks require long-term commitment and patience, and some should take you no longer than 10 minutes. The point is that just because it is unfinished does not mean you have failed. You just haven’t found the next piece of the puzzle yet.  

I came up with what at the time seemed to be a wild dream of an idea about a year ago. I wanted to curate an art exhibit at my University for Black History Month, something that everyone would be able to see, and I wanted students to be a part of it. This was something I had never done before, and I had no idea where to start. So, the first thing I did was ask around- I asked my professors, friends, and bosses. I figured if I didn’t know someone had to, I ended up speaking with one of my bosses who told me we had space in our main University building and that it would be the perfect place to start. I then asked my professors for the steps I would need to take to then get artists and get the art on the wall. I sat on this idea for multiple months; I never brought it up and part of me was fine because I believed I could never make it happen in the first place. In this example I didn’t feel regret or shame because I did not believe I could make it real. There are many, however, who let ideas like this die away shamefully embarrassed by their lack of commitment- A testament to where I am now, my mindset was wrong-  

Months later I had a few artists who wanted to do this with me and a great friend who assisted me along the way. An idea, an unfinished vision that I sat on for months before it clicked that it wasn’timpossible at all, I just didn’t have the mindset I needed to make it happen.  

It is so true when people say you can do whatever you put your mind to. It does require a lot of hard work and focus, but the mind is the first step- getting your mind to cooperate and develop itself in a way that becomes supportive rather than negative. This was the first real big thing for me as someone “adulting”, I had never done something like this before, but I now walk past it almost every day and I still stop and stare in admiration- almost in shock that it’s real.  

Here is the thing about something that is incomplete, it can always be done again- there is the possibility for something you once thought impossible to finish to become the biggest breath of air you will ever release. There is a burden to all incomplete work; pain, perfection, doubt, judgement, fear and sometimes maybe it’s simply redirection- a “this isn’t what I wanted” is indeed an option. However, no matter how you look at it, there is a reason the thing you once started and were so eager to complete was eventually left vacant and untouched. An unfinished life work, is still life work.  

There is always more to see and more to reflect upon when something is left without a direct end or completion. Be present with that moment, not many people get the luxury to sit in that because the focus on incompletion turns into the assumption of failure and failure is so strong. How can you fail something that never had a right or a wrong. You make direction and then everything else will follow. There may be many times in our life where we will put ourselves in this box of “incomplete equals failure”, but it is very important you catch yourself when you do. Changing the mindset is what will then change the outcome- even asking yourself “what led me to think this way in the first place?” is a start for a mind to matter transition and reformation.  

There is a reason we retrace our steps when we lose something. When you start back at the beginning, you just might find what you were looking for.